At Work: Oh, C'mon. Why The Fire Drill at My Workplace

I must say fire drill is pretty much a total waste of time but the worst part is - I cannot reckon the fire drill alarm when it was first set off. I was paying close attention to Facebook...opss....did I just say Facebook? to my quotation of course to be negotiated to some preferential Motorola price (and sometimes it can be insulting). They (the orang atas) always expect the incapable, incredibly naive *wink*, somewhat a moron like me to speak to suppliers in order to get the best out of everything. To generalise it, my boss expects me to have cost savings of 10% monthly. Well.....the figure looks "humble" and "petite", but you'll never get discount from supplier with just a blink of eyes. If yes, I will fly myself to the moon!!! I am not being petty and difficult here as fire drill is meant to be a practise to evacuate the building when fire occurs or other kinds of emergency took place.

Okay, reverting to my topic earlier, I feel like school children running walking out from the plant in uniform lor. Because Motorola has its own Aloha shirt which I strongly think it is exported from Hawaii textile manufacturing industry. LOL. Here's how and why the fire drill is deemed as a futile effort:

And the possible scenarios that might take place

See the two differences depicted in the table? Hell yes. The fire drill procedures will remain as it is cause no one will adhere to the procedures during the actual fire because everyone will be panicky and is not in their right state of mind. The crucial slogan which everyone should embrace when this mishap fall into places - STAMPEDE FOR YOUR LIFE. LOL.

Life: My First and Last Bachelor's Degree Convocation in UUM

P/S: Something in me triggers me to write this post in Bahasa Malaysia (BM) today. Pardon my poor BM as I have abandoned this language long time ago since I left Form 5. I have always been rather poor in BM especially the peribahasa and simpulan bahasa thingy which I hated the most. And the good news is I need not use BM during my Sixth Form. Phew!!! Can you imagine learning Biology and Chemistry in BM? It's gonna be god damn tough, man. You're not going to like it!!! 

Please excuse my BM here because it has been deteriorating since and still deteriorating. Why? Simple. I never planned to beef up my BM skill. LOL. The proof: Read along and you will realise how bad and disastrous it is.

Akhirnya, hari yang dinanti-nantikan sudah tiba. Ibubapa saya tampak sangat beria-ia dan bersedia untuk menghadiri hari yang dianggap hari kebesaran kepada ibubapa yang meletakkan harapan pada anak mereka. Bapa saya pertama kali membeli baju dan tali leher baru sejak perkahwinannya yang berlangsung 25 tahun dahulu. Pada Sabtu lalu, kami sekeluarga bertolak ke Stareast (Bridal House) di Bukit Mertajam (BM) untuk mengambil gambar bertema "Graduation". Bayarannya hanya RM188 (tidak termasuk bingkai gambar dan hanya 5 gambar dipilih) iaitu setimpal dengan kualiti fotografi dan kualiti gambar. Sesi penggambaran itu berlangsung untuk satu setengah jam dan memenatkan. Jurugambar-jurugambar suruh bapa saya membuat gaya macam Superman, Tan Sri, Batman. Macam-macam. Sweat. Gambar belum keluar lagi. Ahad ini kami sekeluarga akan ke studio Stareast untuk memilih gambar untuk dicuci. Kami memang mengharapkan muka kami tidak macam mayat. LOL. 

 My sister's Mock Graduation Photo. Haha. 

Keesokan hari pula, kami bertolak ke UUM pada pukul 10 pagi untuk menghadari Konvokesyen Ke-23, Sesi Pertama yang berlangsung untuk tiga hari berturut-turut dari 27-29 March 2010. Walaupun jubah saya nampak hodoh dan mortarboard terlalu kecil untuk kepala besar saya, ibu bapa saya sangat gembira kerana akhirnya anak mereka sudah graduate. Hari ini juga merupakan hari yang amat bermakna kepada saya kerana inilah hari yang dinanti-nantikan selepas 3 tahun meringkuk di dalam penjara hutan. Walaupun ditemani monyet-monyet sekalian, saya tetap berasa bosan dan tidak bersabar-sabar untuk "berhijrah" balik ke Pulau Pinang. Hehe. Tetiba di perkarangan UUM, saya tidak dapat menahan keinginan saya untuk bergambar di depan Canselori yang cacat dengan tidak terhingganya kerana ini mungkin peluang terakhir saya untuk bergambar di UUM. Walaupun cuaca panas terik, kami sekeluarga masih bergambar di sana sini. Hahahha. 

I can barely open my eyes. My eyes looked like Mashi Maro under the scorching sun. 

 With my family members and behind us is the so-called ugly Chancellery Building

Selepas berpenat bergambar di bawah matahari terik, tiba masanya untuk para graduan berkumpul di Dewan TSO pada pukul 1.30pm. Kedudukan para graduan akan diatur mengikut kursus. Pada masa yang sama, nama First Class students akan dipanggil untuk menerima pingat emas dan sijil emas sebelum masuk ke Dewan MAS. Selepas itu, kami diarahkan untuk masuk ke Dewan MAS mengikut aturan yang disusun oleh staf-staf UUM. Di dalam Dewan MAS, ibubapa dikhususkan hanya duduk di belakang dan atas dewan dan para graduan di tengah manakala staf UUM ditempatkan di barisan hadapan. Scroll kami diterima di atas pentas dari Tan Sri, Pro Canselor UUM. Memandangkan kami merupakan batch pertama dan yang terawal untuk graduate, bilangan graduan kursus Pengurusan Operasi hanya terhad kepada 4 orang. Tetapi saya amat berbangga dan ingin mengucapkan tahniah kepada 3 orang ahli coursemate yang berjaya menamatkan kursus ini iaitu Arul Jothi (First Class), Leong Pei Yee (First Class) dan Aqilah (Second Class Upper). Tahniah!!!  

 Congratulations to Pei Yee (First Class). Salute, salute, salute

 Congratulations to Arul Jothi (First Class). Clap, clap, clap

Bread face again. I need some face lift or Botox. LOL 

Sesi pengambilan scroll akhirnya tamat pada pukul 6pm selepas nyanyian "Negaraku" and "Lagu UUM". Time untuk memulangkan jubah!!! And sayonara to UUM. 

 Me and my sister

Hope the next time I am back is for Master's Degree or PhD. Haha. 

I need to down with some 100 plus now. I didn't know writing in BM could be so difficult. Looking at my BM standard, I understand why I do not know how to differentiate kepala and kelapa or bapa dan bapuk.

Entertainment: Worst Hollywood Celebrities Fashion Faux Pas

Golden Globes Awards has just made it into history a few weeks ago but I missed it! Argh...So I made my first attempt to get some glimpses on the award winners until something else actually caught my sight - celebrities fashion offenders! Simon Powell will definitely take the pleasure in giving his downright ugly comments, while Paula Abdul thinks she possessed the hottest body in Hollywood and Randy, never fails to be the good guy.

Anna Paquin

Simon Cowell: What a god-awful lame-gold dress you picked. Is that your mum's? And the shoes.....FAIL FAIL FAIL

Paula Abdul: The dress texture will suit my 70's hot pants perfectly!

Randy Jackson: Please go home. This seems like a mockery of fashion industry. 

Julianne Moore

Simon Cowell: What is that? The extremely ugliness of your dress has outdone your ugliness. This is downright ugly!

Paula Abdul: I have to agree with Simon this time. The furry trimmed that drooped down around your shoulders were a disaster. 

Randy: Security, please remove this lady from the red carpet. 

Elisabeth Moss

Simon Cowell: Opps....both your straps slipped off from your shoulders. Naw....I am just trying to be nice. 

Paula Abdul: You gave a hearty laugh!!! LOL

Randy: Even Barbie has a prettier dress. 

Tina Feys

Simon Cowell: What's wrong with you, Tina? You're not at a funeral!!! And the weather is fine out there but you don't look fine. Careful, watch out for people. You might poke their eyes by chance with the umbrella spikes!


Paula: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Trying to feature in Rihanna's Umbrella music video? No freaking way!


Randy: I heart went flatlined the moment I saw this shockingly ridiculous dress!

Mariah Carey

Simon: I would say that your dress is gonna explode in 3, 2, 1.....*cover his face with his palms*


Paula: A definite contender for worst dress worn on red carpet. 


Randy: Mariah, despite of having an amazing voice, you do not have talent in fashion. 


Cher

Simon: Cher, you're cordially being invited to attend my this year's Halloween Party. Do not disappoint me shall you. 


Paula: Wow, your gothic get-up makes you like a runway ghost from "Thriller". Well done. 


Randy: Next please. *yawn*


Julia Roberts

Simon: Going anywhere, Jul? I didn't know you took up a part-time job in the office. 

Paula: Please be quiet, everyone. Our lady boss is storming in in black formal dress. 

Randy: Definitely not arousing!!!

Humour: Idiotic Things That Idiot Folks Do

Just for laughter and a dose of  endorphin........

No doubt these two stooges play too much computer games......the aftermath - they are addicted

Here's how thou shalt jump when you're hit by a trailer

This boy thinks he is cute if he can pee like a hydrant

Each of the thousands hands of a Golden Buddha statue has an eye on each palm but sometimes things can go wrong - the Golden Buddha statue has a ciggie on each of its palm

Kid: Mum, I saw a real life spongebob over the street there

Mum: Stop jabbering about spongebob all day. He is just a character from a cartoon, honey

Kid: I swear to God I see it, mum. Look! 

Mum: Oh! You're right, honey. Just that....he doesn't have shoes!

First Bill Clinton, Then Dr Chua Soi Lek, Later Tiger Woods and Now Jack Neo...

But the question is, how long will these surprising breaking news last? Their public adulation have cast shadows over their careers? Just because they are well-known, racking up multiple women do not seem good on them but if you put this peccadilloes in an average man, it will serve nothing but nothing. No one will even give a damn whether you are poking a whore, or a random chick. Well, what can I say. Men are programmed evolutionary to sleep around and majority of them are polygamous. Not to say I agree with the idea of polygamy (count me out), but from the evolutionary standpoint, men are like animals. Animals copulate to generate more new generations to deter the species being extinct. So as human. Men bed hopping around to survive and reproduce to exert maximum productions. But there is definitely one thing that human can't be compared to animals that we have moral and ethic values. There are what make us so different from other species as we are able to differentiate the rights and wrongs. Humping the other woman when you have wonderful woman at home is not wonderful at all. Humping the other woman in the backseat of the car is even more heartless as your kids will be sitting at the rear sits on Sundays. Humping the other woman who is 22 years old will not prove that you are a real man because what makes you worth is you already had four children. 

Errr....can someone please show me which is my mum? I am so confused. Dad, please help!

Jack Neo is being likened to Tiger Woods when the number of involved women has been escalating. Many people (including fans) think he has been a good husband and leading an impeccable family life and who is supposed to inject some family values with sense of humour in his movies. There was a speculation that he will be selected to run for the next election. If this has been true, it seems like isn't lucky enough to be in that position. While many women cannot accept his infidelity, most men figure this being adulterous is common in entertainment arena, hence, acceptable.

Oh, c'mon, honey. You don't have to hide this panties at the backseat. Awww....thanks but I don't wear kiddie panties. Opsss....

Ever wonder if Jack will make a comeback after his exposed scandalous sex life cool off? Will his fans out there agree if he made a comeback with more folksy humour scenes? I believe most of the people, either Malaysians or Singaporeans will forget regard to his infidelity soon enough to accept him back into the society. He is a talented man and he will be given another chance to prove himself and most importantly he is remorseful over his misdeeds. But, again, he was slammed by the media and netizens when he is contemplating to remake his love affair into a movie. Isn't the current situation is damage enough? Now it's the time you salvage your 27 years of marriage and spend quality time with your family.