Transformation of An Ugly Duckling to A Beautiful Swan - Can You Believe It?

Please be patient. What is to be revealed before you eyes might be something disturbing and yet shocking in the end. This attempt...is very dangerous if you are not an expert with the "tools"  and please do not try this at home. Parental guidance is of essential for their children. 3D glasses will not be allocated due to the ugliness to the highest degree. No...I am not saying ugly is an offense to the sense of beauty but it's a crime. It's a crime that most people are inclined in commiting crime, the crime where they start mocking you or saying brutal comments behind you.

Therefore, feeling propelled to do so, she transformed her ugly looks with many complicated steps to appear rather "appealing" to the audience. Be warned. The below pictures might be very disturbing. LOL.

Before battling with her make-up tools:

She has this manly kinda look. If she has short hair, I believe many might have mistakenly call her Uncle/Kor Kor/fillintheblank

And now...she's looking like a diva. Va-va-voom....How she did that? Read along

How she do the tricks.....and magically transform in a few minutes. Hope her mum won't land herself another heart attack to have "wrong" daughter in the house.

Ju-on, Ju-on. Run for your life. Runnnnnnnn..........

The magic circle black lens have instantly give her eyes the omph factor

Apply moisturizer onto her face to retain the water content level to avoid skin dehydration

Cover skin flaw with concealer and foundation thoroughly across the face. There...she looks better now.

Next step, she added fake lashes onto the lashline and apply mascara to volumenize as well as lenghten the lashes

Draw liquid/gel eyeliner along the upper and lower lashline to make her eyes appear bigger. Here's how she achieved her dolly-eyed look

Apply reasonable amount of eyeshadow to add some oh-so-beautiful eyes effect. Smokey eyes might do the magic.

Viola! She's looking pretty and lovely. OMG!

Guys.....are your girlfriends, too? LOL. Pre- and post-make-up can make a huge difference in a person's appearance.

In the club...

Guy 1: Hey, lad. Check up that hot mama shaking her booty on the dance floor. She's looking sizzling hot.

Guy 2: Yeah, man. Woooo......look at her big, round eyes. Oh wait..she's looking in my direction. Should I say Hi?

Guy 1: You're right, man. OMG...she's walking to us. Look at her revealing dress. So sexy. So hot. So delicious. *LOL*

Guy 2: Yeah...we got her at the first glance. Let's have fun with her tonight.

Hot mama: Hey, boys. Do you want to buy me a drink? I am so thristy *sexy tone*. And it's hot in here.

Guy 1 & Guy 2: Owww....here's your tequila shots. We have all ready.

After the nightout, they brought the hot mama back to their hotel and they really had a good time with her. The workers in hotel figured they had so much noise and fun cause they too think "threesome activity" is awesome. But....they are wrong. Because both of the miang guys are found naked and dead. And who killed them? Nobody else was found in the room. Where did she go?

She's Jennifer! She lures them, kisses them, licks them, and eats them. Clean!

ROFL............The end.

None...

My humble apologies.

The blog layout is still under construction.

Will make resume it after I am back!

Thanks.

If You Are A Prude, Please Do Not Read British Newspaper

Another sunny lazy Sunday and I am going out for 2012 movie again. For the second time but this time I am doing it with my parents. But before I am out, I wanna share something that will kick your funny bones literally with my readers forgetting the hunger pangs I am on now. Thanks, Mr Lawrence for sending me this 'beautiful' insights. LOL. I never have had a chance to come across any British newspaper except those on the screens but they are not as entertaining, bold, and blunt as THIS. Read on for more views...

In another words, he might have gigantic bollocks. LOL

It seems with the miracle drug like Viagra can never act as a catalyst in heart wrenching case

The next time I found someone orgasmn or reaching climax beside me in the mall, I'd totally assume she's wearing a vibrating panties. Ewww...

Where passion turn into lesson. Do not "multitask" in your kitchen if you don't want your willy dilly to be injured. LOL.

If these news were reported on our daily newspaper, many citizens will be reported choked to death while having brekkie (reading paper on breakfast table), new name will be given to newspaper which is also a new modern era porn-paper, more wives will forbid their husbands to even gaze at the newspaper, and we won't be able to see newspaper wrapping on our mee goreng from the mamak anymore.

 

Alright, alright. I google it out again. Malaysia also got this kind of news wat. See...but not as entertainig as the British dailies. Anybody can FedEx to me? Anyone?

 

Mini Belated Birthday Celebration and A Get-Together. Tired of Posing and Smiling in Front of the Lens

OMG! I cannot bear with the scorching sun out there so I made a quick escape from the mall and back to home, updating my blog and Facebook as well. After this short posting, I am gonna go for slumber.

In fact, last Sunday my friends wanna organise a mini birthday celebration for November babies but it was my fault that I couldn't make it then. So the event was postponed to today, 28 November 2009 which falls on Saturday and we made it really small and simple without causing a damage to or pocket. Hehe. Hence, the get-together was held in Kopitiam Junction, Sunway Carnival Mall at 1pm but again, I was late. I reached about 1.45pm with my "angry" friends staring fiercely at me. LOL.

The peepz - Sam, Deanna, and Christine (they say hi to everybody)

Smiling happily with my lepak-mate since high school and she's a medical student in UM now. Interested? LOL

Added in another cute lass - Sam who is witty, funny, and what can I say. Adorable! 

Don't judge the size. It might be mini but once putting it in you mouth, it's forever on your hips! So sinful yet delightful. Feel tempted? Get one for yourself at your nearest Bread History bakery house and hunt for Opera Mini Cake

One, two, three and make a wish. "Dear God, I always wish for something decent and moderate from you most of the time, and everytime, right? You know that. Erm....I wanna wish for RM1mil to be transferred to my account later, say at 6pm ya. Thanks, God. I love you." Lemme check if it's already been deposited or not later. 

Sorry, kinda blur. Lemme introduce the petite and yet demure little princess behind us, Christina. Love you so much, gal! Thanks for coming

Kissing the strawberry now. NOT!

Eventually, the delectable and yet heavenly toothsome cake has been "brutally" rape by us. Oh my...she's so naked now (without the side wrapping)

LOL.....can we just leave the straw-bel-li alone, ar?

Done with the food, we are out for a shopping spree. No la. Just thought of posing with a Christmas tree will make us look more in and happening. LOL. WTH....Christmas is around the corner. 

Taller than 150cm? Haha. Of course cause I stand at 163cm. But still I am shorter than my younger sis who is now 170cm tall. Fuh!

Yes, I know. The Xmas tree is inferiors to the other shopping malls but still......I can never stop posing. LOL. 

See that joyous smile? Hahaha. I am contented and glad that I have really really good friends and they really make my life wonderful and never fails to decorate my dull life.

P/S: Hey BFFs, thank you so much for today

Acting As Aunt Agony (AAAA)

It's back again, the Year End Sales (YES) that never fails to make shopaholics and yet broke (like me..lol) to start drooling over the RM700 RM210 Aldo sky-high heels, that discounted Guess sheer dress, and oh-so-lovely Salvatore Ferragamo satchel. But all the above items are too expensive for me to even afford them since I haven't officially start receiving income yet(report to work on Dec 1st). Sadly but true I can only afford a CLEO magazine which costs me only RM5.60 which also means it is only 1,2,3,4.......560cents. LOL. Btw, I am an avid reader of CLEO Magazine for the past 7 years.

CLEO December issue. Psst...if I were the cover girl, will you buy the magazine? LOL. I know you wouldn't.

Most of the time, there is always free sample attached to the magazine cover or can be found in the magazine. A way of marketing to penetrate the targeted market segment. Not a bad idea.

As a habit, each time I bought the mag I would quickly turn to "QA Life" page, the page where readers surface life problems to the columnist. I planned to be one someday but I don't think I am suitable at all. Haha.

One of the life problem raised by a reader sounds like this:

Q: I recently had a date that went very well but at the end of it we didn't make arrangements to meet again. I do want to see him again. When is the appropriate time for me to call him for a second date? Five days? A week? Ten days? 

A: I fear that if he wanted to see you again, he would've called by now or made arrangements on the night. You can subtle this one way or the other by phoning him - leave it a minimum of five days - and being very casual about it. Kind of, "enjoyed last night, fancy doing it again sometime?". That way, you're covered if he every says, well you didn't call me so why should I call you! But sadly this is one area where evolution has yet to catch up with women's emancipation. If a guy is interested, he makes sure you know it. See the book, or film, He's Just Not That Into You. It might help. 

The columnist is being such a nice woman who gives really good points and ideas. If I were to be Aunt Agony one day, I'd tell her:

- Perhaps it's high time for you to re-sculpture that cosmetic surgery might do the trick

- Do you have bad breath or a bad case of body odour (BO)?

- The guy might suffers from genital herpes and he's being too sweet to infect you with one. 

- Or you might as well tell him that "I Am Desperate For A Partner. Please be my man. I'll give you 100% satisfaction guarantee."

- Or the man might say "I was so freaked out. Your dad is actually watching over us with his binocular accompanied by a rifle when we were out together".
- You're just plain ugly. In about 5 minutes time, please check you mailbox and you will find a pistol.

Oh well....I don't think I can be a good Aunt Agony if I were to play that role. I might irk many people, trigger their anger, and the worst part, they might be commiting suicide after this!

Cat vs Hand Fight (WIth Socks)

This is what my family members will do when we're just too bored.....fighting with our indoor cat. Lol. He's very naughty.

I Google 'Em Out. Darn Funny Road Signs.

Today is gonna be my second last day as an intern in Motorola. Ironically, I am so darn free and I have ample of time to do my own things unlike other interns who are just too busy to IM with me. LOL. I think I am going to write a thank you message to my supervisor for being so kind to me. Hahaha. And no, end of internship doesn't mean that I will be leaving this place soon. I will remain in the same plant but only to say not the same cubicle, sick-god-awful-slow desktop (I wonder how old is she now), different supervisor, and of course I have new colleagues. Speaking of the desktop, I am very pek chek having her here now. She is very slow, not-so smart (numerous times I have to click on the icon), belongs to the 45915th generation, and apparently she's getting chronic over time. The Microsoft Outlook doesn't seem to work efficiently like it used to be after the Motorola Asia Supplier Conference thingy and to make things worse is I need to restart my PC about 3 times per day. Shoot! This is unbelieveable! Never mind, be patient. Another 1 day left. Fuh!

On separate occasion, I was too bored. I re-positioned my monitor, played with the mouse, prank calling my friends (actually was calling to ask some stupid questions), cleaned the dusty table, Facebook-ing, but nothing seem to ease my boredom. Argh....I am supposed to kill time with my final project on benefits of e-procurement but I could not seem to find Mr. Mood. He turned me down each time I open Microsoft Word to start writing. Okay....so I start googling for images with keywords "funny signs on the road". LOL. And they are hilarious. Hitler would have bombed this if he sees 'em. For him, this is just a junk.

Thank God this sign is not found in Malaysia or else all dogs will be choked to death

LOL.....What can I say more....more LOL LOL LOL

You know what happen when the car turns right, aye?

Don't worry. We will redirect you to the other road! If the road did not appear in 3 secs, please 'click' on the trigger

If KL has the exact sign like this, I'd rather see my GPS

Jay-Z: Which route to take, honey?

Beyonce: To the left, to the left

Roadside whore? The road seems so empty. Do they manage to get customers here?

Oh....if I were to spot that, I'll gladly swing my hand with stone straight to the sign. LOL

That's all for today. It's now my time to sleep in the ladies again. Chaoz.

No Pain, No Gain - Funny but True

Okay....yesterday I have posted something rather saddening but finally he made that call. Thanks to those who care about me and for that I'm gonna post something entertaining here today. No la....actually my friend sent me via e-mail and I wish to share it out here. LOL.

5 people carrying the cross to somewhere.....dunno where

Zooming to only one guy.....his face shows that he's going to faint

And now he's talking to Jesus before he's going to faint

And Jesus granted his wish to make the cross shorter literally

Now that it's shorter, it's lighter. His face shows that he's happy to have shorter cross than anyone

Continue the dunno-where journey and can you see the shorter cross behind there?

Such a lazy bum. He misused the purpose of the knife/copper or whatever you call it. Whoever who invented it would have commited suicide if he sees this

There he goes. Making the cross even shorter. Not short enough, meh?

Jesus is being so kind to him

But not so kind.....

When he is about to....

 Awww....the cross should feel intimidated now that he's 'short' and thanks to the lazy master

OMG! The lazy bum cannot cross over to the side. LOL. Your cross is too short la

Hahaha. This is really funny but yet meaningful. No pain, no gain. A person cannot be successful over one night but he has to endure much pain to be at the top. Pain is samsara (Sanskrit) in Buddha's teachings which perceived that there is no perceptible beginning and ending. As long as a person is still breathing, he has to face never ending pain depending on the degree of suffering.

I Am Bad. Real Bad! You're Gonna Hate Me When You Know I Am That Type of Person

I am bad! No...I did not steal my dad's credit card, I did not put faeces on my neighbour's car, I did not destroy my lecturer's plant in his office, I did not switch off the tele after watching, I did not pull that stray cat's whiskers but I did, one very bad thing is I had hurt a guy's feeling. I am totally an idiot when comes to apologizing to anyone but I am here today writing a lengthy post to say SORRY to an amazing man that walked into my life on 5th July 2008 and all along I know I am being self-centred, stuck up, egoistic,narcissistic, rude, and lack of empathy to others. As I am writing this post, I am praying for his safety that he has reached KL safely. He told me that he will call me back but he didn't but it doesn't matter after what I have done and said to him.

I woke up this morning with swollen eyes as if someone punch me into eyes while I was sleeping yesterday. And I was jolted at the degree of my swollen eyes. Okay...I admit I cried like some retard asking for sweets yesterday when I heard he is on the way back to KL. Many times I always say something I don't mean it but I don't know what has poisoned my mind but those brutal words come spontaneously. Normally, a narcissist like me would not have guts to express the darker side of myself publicly but after self-reflecting of my own mistakes, I decided to decitate this posting to him.

It all started.......read along.

About three weeks ago, he and I had a dramatic fight and I said I hate this relationship so much. So much that I don't want to be with him anymore. After that fateful incident, we didn't communicate with one another for merely 3 weeks until yesterday he called me around 5pm to ask where I am.

He: Where are you going later tonight?

Me: Why you wanna know? It's already none of your business.

He: Why is none of my business? People do care about you, love you. What I am going to do will make you hate me.

Me: Just go ahead and do it. You want to challenge me. So go ahead la.

He: Where are you going later night? *asking again*

Me: Hotel. *just saying for the sake of saying*

He: I guess tonight I need to sleep in the street.

Me: So? I hope that you won't be robbed.

He: My life is worthless.

Me: Yah of course so better die faster. I hope you will be perished faster. And who doesn't want his enemy (him) to be defeated first?

And I hung up his call. After a while, he keeps on calling me and I didn't bother to pick up until he sends me a message which sounds like this:

"You really do not want to see me? Please reply before 7.30pm".

After reading the SMS, I reply him with a short and firm NO. He again replied me asking me no matter what also I will not see him and I said "Nope. Even if you're dead or alive, it is totally none of my business. He did not reply me after that.

About 30 minutes later, I received an SMS from him saying "I was in Penang waiting nearby your house for you to come back (from work) with a tiramisu that I've baked for you, I've made reservation in Hard Rock Hotel to celebrate (my birthday) with you and to tell you the good news from OUM (Open University Malaysia). I am on my way back to KL already. Honey I love you very much." The comeback message was like someone throwing a dagger right into my heart and it feels so pain that it didn't go away. I was trying to control my emotion as I was out with my friends at that time and I tried really hard to pull myself together. The moment I hit my home, tears streaming down my cheeks and I cried for a good 1 hour. I called my BFFs to tell them and they were right. I should change. I should be more careful whenever I said something. They know I have razor sharp mouth but I cannot hurt him again and again. This must be stopped before everything is too late. As I speak now, I still not being able to contact him since last night. I really worried that he might have done something stupid! God, let's help me through this. I really will change is he's fine and I will not be as cruel as I used to be.

All I am asking for is a last chance, a last chance that I will be a better person, to prove myself that I can do it, I will be patient no matter what as he has done too much for me. Please call me once you see this. I am really sorry......

I am still trying my best to get connected to his line. Still dialling and I cannot get through. Will he do something stupid? I really don't know.